"Hit Me Baby One More Time" is the twenty-seventh mission of Season 4.
Everything abut this mission screams horrible and creepy, but you need answers, and soon.
Cast[]
Plot[]
Something To Help[]
Time to get back on track finding a cure for the zombie plague. Janine's interrogation of her brother isn't going so well, so you're on a secret 'Starlight Protocol' mission to find something that may help.
What Could Go Wrong[]
You'll need something stronger than the usual drugs to break Tom's military training, and Nadia's found clues to just the thing from Moonchild's facility. Sam's not happy about this.
Zombie Poppins Brigade[]
Sam's found some maps to the testing facility - except it's labelled as a 'creche'. You're spotted by a pack of uniformed zombie nannies, and make a quick escape.
Through The Mirror[]
The backdoor to the creche leads to an observation room. Seems the 'subjects' from Moonchild's files were actually children. The Nannies have found you, and Janine smashes the two-way mirror to get out.
The H Vault[]
Comansys definitely tested their drug on children, and it works. On the plus side the now-zombified nannies rescued all the kids before turning. Unfortunately the drugs were also removed, to somewhere called 'H Vault'.
Lead The Way[]
You're running away from the zombie nannies again when suddenly they explode, courtesy of The Builder. There's no time to catch up though - The Builder knows where the drugs are.
Need To Go East[]
Vault H was where Comansys saved important research, meaning it's locked up tight. The Builder employs his usual solution to inaccessible places; explosions. He offers some of his other skills to help with Tom, but Janine's not interested.
Yes I Can[]
Sam and Nadia try to persuade Janine not to deal with Tom alone, but she threatens them with court-martial if they break Starlight Protocol. She will be doing this her way.
Transcript []
SAM YAO: Ready, runners? Veronica?
VERONICA MCSHELL: Yes, Sam. I am standing here, appropriately attired. I am aware of the mission. I am unsure what level of further readiness you require.
SAM YAO: Uh, yeah. Uh, okay. Good.
NADIA AL HANAKI: Stop it, V. She’s winding you up, Sam.
VERONICA MCSHELL: I’m not. I don’t even know what that means. What am I winding?
NADIA AL HANAKI: You know what it means. You’re doing it now!
JANINE DE LUCA: Mister Yao, can you confirm that this mission is secured by Starlight Protocol?
SAM YAO: Uh, yep. Secure channel, need-to-know data, encrypted recording. Anyone planning to tell me what the cloak and dagger is all about?
JANINE DE LUCA: I will update you when we leave Abel, Mister Yao. For now, just understand that my interrogation of Mister De Luca has reached an impasse.
NADIA AL HANAKI: An impasse. Is that what you’re calling that massive bruise on the side of your face? An impasse? I hope you hit him back.
JANINE DE LUCA: I can remove you from this mission, Miss Al Hanaki.
NADIA AL HANAKI: You can’t, actually.
VERONICA MCSHELL: You do appear to have a series of cosmetic injuries, Janine. There’s also a contusion on the bridge of your nose.
JANINE DE LUCA: Our pursuit of the Vikings’ secret cure for the zombie plague proceeds, but slowly. We’ve yet to discover why my brother attempted to steal the baby, or who created a double for Runner Five, the zombie we encountered. Tom must, however, have been monitoring comms traffic for months to plan his crimes. We must find out what he knows. To move on with my interrogation, I need to break through my brother’s psychosis. We are going to find something to help us do that. Mister Yao? The gates.
[gate siren, gates raising]
SAM YAO: Alright, now can you tell me what’s going on?
JANINE DE LUCA: Mister Yao, the usual procedure for an interrogation of this nature would be drug therapy.
SAM YAO: That sounds grim.
VERONICA MCSHELL: It’s far more effective than torture, Sam. People have been found to lie more under torture than with no external incentive.
SAM YAO: Yeah, I raise my “grim” to “super grim”.
JANINE DE LUCA: Tom was extensively trained to be resistant to the usual military truth drugs, but -
NADIA AL HANAKI: I found something.
VERONICA MCSHELL: When she’s not assisting me, Nadia has been looking through all the stuff we hauled out of Moonchild’s facility.
NADIA AL HANAKI: There was so much of it. I spend my evenings on it. I’m not one for socializing so much.
VERONICA MCSHELL: Neither of us are.
NADIA AL HANAKI: What I found was, Moonchild and Comansys were working on a drug to enhance imagination. It failed, but here’s the important bit: what it did to its victims. I mean, patients. I mean - oh, what do I mean?
VERONICA MCSHELL: Subjects?
NADIA AL HANAKI: Subjects. All it did to its subjects was make them tell the truth constantly.
SAM YAO: Cool. I mean, gross, obviously.
NADIA AL HANAKI: Gross, yeah, but you want to find out why Tom took your baby, Sam.
SAM YAO: Well, I just wish there was a less Room 101 way of doing it.
JANINE DE LUCA: There’s a time for your way, and a time for my way, Mister Yao, and this is my way. Comansys testing facility is just over that rise.
SAM YAO: Great! Well, let’s get the untested truth drug made by an evil corporation. What could possibly go wrong?
SAM YAO: Okay, okay. I’ve got some maps. This place is huge! Bigger than my old uni. Um, the testing facility should be just south of the – huh, wow, cool. From this list here, the games room is state of the art. Uh, guys, maybe we could just swing by and -
JANINE DE LUCA: No! We go in, we get out. Distracting people with toys is Comansys modus operandi. Focus!
SAM YAO: Yeah, you’re right. Sorry. But they’ve got a – ! No, no, you’re right.
NADIA AL HANAKI: So, testing facility’s south, right, Sam? Come on, Five. Must be that big building. Race you there!
VERONICA MCSHELL: Why does it have swings outside it?
JANINE DE LUCA: And cartoon characters painted on the outside.
SAM YAO: Okay, guys. Now, I’ve matched up your info with a Comansys campus map, and that place – it’s the creche.
NADIA AL HANAKI: That can’t be right. Truth drugs wouldn’t be tested in the creche.
SAM YAO: Heads up, guys. Zombies at your eight. They’ve spotted you.
VERONICA MCSHELL: Oh yes, I see. Are they wearing uniforms? All the same.
NADIA AL HANAKI: Navy blue dresses. Are they nurses?
JANINE DE LUCA: They’re nannies.
NADIA AL HANAKI: Nannies. Oh yeah, they are!
SAM YAO: Okay, the zombie Poppins brigade are almost on you. Run!
[zombies groan]
VERONICA MCSHELL: Quickly. There’s a back door. We can get into the creche.
[door opens and closes]
NADIA AL HANAKI: It seems unlikely the truth drugs would be here. I must have made a mistake.
SAM YAO: Uh, hang on. I’m just finding a camera. Luckily, Comansys had them everywhere. I don’t think I’ve ever been more spoiled for choice. Um… ah, no, there you are. Oh, bit dark, isn’t it?
JANINE DE LUCA: It’s an observation room. It stays dark so the people in here can see through the mirror.
SAM YAO: The mirror?
VERONICA MCSHELL: The wall in front of us is a mirror. We can see through into -
JANINE DE LUCA: Into the playroom.
SAM YAO: Oh, yeah, I get you now. But why would you set up a room so you could spy on kids playing?
VERONICA MCSHELL: There are several reasons, Sam, but in this case, I imagine because you are testing drugs on the children.
NADIA AL HANAKI: Moonchild’s files just said “subjects”. Not “children”.
SAM YAO: So are you looking at a bunch of zombie kids? [takes deep breath] Hang on. I have a camera for the play room. [sighs] Empty.
JANINE DE LUCA: Yes. For once, no zombie children.
VERONICA MCSHELL: How odd. You’d think if the nannies were all turned, the children would have been even easier targets.
SAM YAO: Talking of nannies, they must have known another way into the building. They’re in the corridor you came in through. So uh, yeah, is there another way out of that observation room?
JANINE DE LUCA: There’s one way. Through the mirror. Stand back. [glass shatters]
[zombies groan]
SAM YAO: Well, they heard that. Run!
SAM YAO: I think you’ve lost them.
NADIA AL HANAKI: This is the office. Look at all those files.
VERONICA MCSHELL: We’re not going through those now, Nadia. Let’s check the computers.
[computer beeps, typing on a keyboard]
NADIA AL HANAKI: Okay. The code name for the drug was ZX1200.
SAM YAO: Imaginative. I would have called it Truthio. Oh, no – Truthy Truth. Oh no, no no – Ain’t That The Truth.
JANINE DE LUCA: This is why we did not put you in charge of code naming secrets.
NADIA AL HANAKI: Here it is. Oh God, they did test it on the kids! And yeah, it does work. Injectable, or bubblegum flavored tablets.
JANINE DE LUCA: This doesn’t explain what happened to the children, though. Why aren’t they here?
SAM YAO: Oh, wait. Wait, I read about this! Rofflenet. Um, let me find it. Uh, yeah. Comansys nannies. In the outbreak, high-up Comansys people helicoptered out. The nannies fought down a team from marketing to secure a minibus to get the kids out. The last bus. Those nannies beat off seventy rabid digital strategy consultants and technology futurologists to get the kids onto that bus without them. They’re heroes.
JANINE DE LUCA: That’s nannies for you. If you eat your greens and take your naps, they will fight to the death for you.
SAM YAO: Yeah. They have made horrifically efficient zombies, though. And I’d hate to interrupt this creepy time you’re all having with um, even more creepiness, but they’re on their way.
VERONICA MCSHELL: The drugs aren’t in this building. All psychotropics were moved to H Vault. What’s the H Vault?
SAM YAO: Yeah. Work it out when you’re out of the building. They’ll have you trapped in there if you don’t run.
[zombies growl]
SAM YAO: They’re still gaining. Find cover!
NADIA AL HANAKI: We can’t get in anywhere! Everything’s locked down! [explosion, zombies splatter] Okay, the nannies just blew up.
JANINE DE LUCA: Oh, not now.
STEVE SISSAY: Afternoon. So, blowing up zombie nannies is strangely satisfying.
JANINE DE LUCA: Mister Sissay.
STEVE SISSAY: Colonel De Luca, ma'am. This is a grenade launcher, but rest assured, I am also pleased to see you.
JANINE DE LUCA: I take it you’re tuned into our comms.
SAM YAO: Steve!
STEVE SISSAY: Sam! Love. Last time I spoke to you, you were a zombie breakfast buffet.
SAM YAO: Yeah, and you were being the world’s worst babysitter.
STEVE SISSAY: Oh. Yes. I really can’t apologize enough about that, to all of you. There are mistakes in the field and there are, well -
SAM YAO: Mm. I heard about you and Lobatse.
JANINE DE LUCA: Mister Yao, this is not the time for chit chat.
STEVE SISSAY: You’re right. Ma'am, I’m here to help. We have some old Comansys files at the Ministry. I know exactly where those drugs are.
JANINE DE LUCA: I see. Then lead the way. Quickly, if you please. We have no time to waste.
STEVE SISSAY: Okay. This is H Vault. I’ve seen some protected files. Uh, protocol in emergencies: get the experiments’ stuff in here where they can’t be touched by hostiles.
NADIA AL HANAKI: Protected their experiments, but not the kids or their nannies. Nice.
VERONICA MCSHELL: That is actually quite sensible. This work could potentially save a lot more people than were ever housed in this facility.
NADIA AL HANAKI: Veronica, less creepy pragmatist. I’ve told you, it freaks me out.
VERONICA MCSHELL: The way it freaks you out is something I find very amusing.
NADIA AL HANAKI: Robot!
JANINE DE LUCA: The door is locked. There must be a security override somewhere here - [explosions] Mister Sissay!
STEVE SISSAY: Sorry, loves, but you know. I do have this grenade launcher and it’s a heavy old thing to carry around and not use.
JANINE DE LUCA: How dare you use weaponry without a direct order!
STEVE SISSAY: Apologies, ma'am. I wasn’t thinking.
NADIA AL HANAKI: Look, though. Here’s the stuff. [shakes pill bottle] Should we take the tablets? Does Tom uh, does he like bubblegum?
JANINE DE LUCA: Take the injectables. Let’s stock up on hypos, too. No need to waste Abel’s supply on this.
STEVE SISSAY: And no need to ask what you’re planning.
JANINE DE LUCA: Then don’t.
STEVE SISSAY: I won’t. Colonel De Luca, I do have some field experience in these types of operations. Perhaps I could -
JANINE DE LUCA: You have experience of torture, do you? You’ve tortured people? What a surprise.
STEVE SISSAY: No. Not that kind of… experience of torture. The other sort.
SAM YAO: What? What do you mean? Oh.
STEVE SISSAY: McShell’s right. Nothing you get out of a tortured person is worth much. But my experiences have given me certain skills.
JANINE DE LUCA: Skills you wish to use on my brother, Mister Sissay? Is that correct?
STEVE SISSAY: If it would assist Abel, yes.
JANINE DE LUCA: Do you know, Steve, you may have noticed that your bag of tricks doesn’t work on me. Flirting, calling people “love” and “darling”, the grenade launcher. You’re cheap, and you’re obvious, and I’m afraid the amount you want to help makes me more certain than ever that we can’t have you around. And if you think I’m letting someone like you anywhere near my brother, you are very very wrong!
STEVE SISSAY: I see.
NADIA AL HANAKI: Uh, Steve. Janine’s had a really tough time lately.
STEVE SISSAY: S'alright. It’s alright, Sam. I should probably be going.
JANINE DE LUCA: Yes.
STEVE SISSAY: See you around, then.
VERONICA MCSHELL: Okay. The rest of us need to go east. It is east, isn’t it?
SAM YAO: That’s right.
NADIA AL HANAKI: Of course it is! She’s always right. Come on, then. Quickly, before any more nannies turn up.
NADIA AL HANAKI: Janine, Steve is a bit… I mean, I do kind of get what you mean about him, and we’ve always thought the Ministry had their own weird agenda, but there are people at New Canton who can help you with Tom. You shouldn’t really be on your own with him. We don’t know what these drugs are going to do, exactly.
SAM YAO: Yeah. I mean, what if they gave him superpowers? Cool! Although yeah, with him, that would be terrible.
JANINE DE LUCA: I deal with Tom alone. He is my responsibility.
VERONICA MCSHELL: That is not an optimal strategy.
JANINE DE LUCA: I have let enough people down with my laxness, my lack of responsibility and shirking of my duty. No one else will be endangered, no one else will be involved. I deal with Tom. Me. Just me.
NADIA AL HANAKI: I don’t think I can let you do that, Janine. When we get back, I’m going to tell Maxine about these drugs we’ve got.
JANINE DE LUCA: No, you will not, Miss Al Hanaki. This operation is covered by Starlight Protocol. Nothing that happened today can be discussed! Breaking Starlight Protocol is subject to immediate court martial.
NADIA AL HANAKI: You are kidding me. You’re threatening to court martial us if we tell anyone you’re going to interrogate your crazy military-trained brother by injecting him with untested drugs!
JANINE DE LUCA: I commend you on your level of understanding, Miss Al Hanaki.
SAM YAO: Janine, that is crazy. That is seriously, entirely – I mean, you can’t do that.
JANINE DE LUCA: Yes, Mister Yao. Yes, I can.
Codex[]
Supplies[]
The following supplies can be found in this mission.
(List may be incomplete.)
Anti-depressants
Bandages
Batteries
Bedroll
Board game
Book
Bottled Water
Box of Lightbulbs
Deodorant
Flashlight
Fuel Can
Hairbrush
Laptop
Mobile Phone
Paintbrush
Pistol
Pot plant
Shorts
Tennis racket
Thermal underwear
Tinned Food
Tool Box
Trousers
Umbrella
Underwear
USB Key
Wild food
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